The People Pleaser

Women have a tendency to be accommodating in various situations. They try to be pleasant to everyone even when it could cause harm, loss or sadness,  but for the sake of others, they keep belittling themselves, only to end up alone and unfulfilled.

Have you ever gone to places, done things, participated in sporting events or bought a piece of clothing that you really disliked? It’s happened to you, it’s happened to me and I can assure you it has happened to most women.

Since childhood, at pre-school, we were trained to put others ahead of ourselves so that we would be accepted by that closed group of special girls. As we grew up, we tried to please friends so we could join the “in” crowd in the class and even the school. We did things, joined parties, went places only to please family members. How many women even went to the extent of getting married to a person they did not like, only to please their mothers or fathers?

It is systemic, it is enslaving and you may not feel you are doing it. It becomes so naturally a part of your life to the point that the principle is also applicable as an opposite statement:  “You start not doing things on account of others”.

You so much want to go to church, but suddenly it comes to mind that so-and-so,  who disappointed you,  is a regular member there. You so much want to get a new look, but last time you did it, there was talk about it for days. You so much want to further your studies, but what will your children say about that?  You think of starting a new career, but you don’t because you will cause upheaval to everyone else’s routines.

This is constant self-denial  -- either doing what you do not want or not doing what you really want.  How long will you cope with the emptiness of living your life only to please others?  How long will you manage the frustration of not achieving anything in life that really matters to you?

So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free. (John 8:36)

There is freedom in Jesus Christ. You do not need to worry about putting yourself down to be accepted by Him. You can confidently express your feelings and frustrations and He will not look down on you for that.

You will learn to love yourself because Jesus loved you first and He accepted who and what you are. When you love yourself, you do not need to live for others: your joy, your fulfulment will bring them close to you. So, be a Jesus pleaser instead.