When I was 6 years old, my mother left me
with her sister because she was working far away from home. I had to live with my aunt and her
three-year-old daughter.
It was decided
that our neighbour from our home village would also come to live with us in
town in order to take care of us. We
started well and there was no problem, until one day she showed her true
colours.
She made me do all the things she was
supposed to do. I had to wash dishes,
sweep the house and bath my cousin. If I
didn’t do it well, she would beat me.
Sometimes she even choked me with a pillow. This happened for a long time. I did all her work and at the end of the day
she would threaten me, saying if I
opened my mouth to talk about it, she
would kill me. I turned into a very sad
child.
Because of this, I wanted to seek
for revenge .When I was 11 years old, I met her daughter and every time I saw
her, I would make sure to hurt her.
When I was nine years old, I was abused by
a stranger. He just came to the school
and pretended that he needed help. His
car was stuck by the river. A lot of us
went to help him, but on the way, many turned back to school, and I ended up
with only one other girl. I kept on
saying I wanted to go back and that’s when he took out a knife and said if we
screamed, he was going to kill us and leave us there and no one would know
where we were. He then abused us.
I grew up with anger towards men. I used to think that they were all the same
and I aimed to hurt men since this was what the man had done to me. I started drinking alcohol at the age of 17. I felt unworthy and I thought I did not have
value in life, so I started living in night clubs and bars.
I would just sneak out of the house and go
partying and there I would play with men.
I would take their money and I
would make sure I disappeared. I knew in
the end they would want to be paid back.
I went from one bar to another. I
was naughty at school and I did not care about anything. I was a bully. I used to bully other students and even the
teachers at school.
No one knew about my past until I came to
church. I always looked for
deliverance not only from this torment but from my self accusation about all that had happened.
I told God that I was
broken and I needed him so much. Before
I knew it, I was delivered from my past.
I had peace of mind. I was free
at last! The thoughts of my past can
come back, but they do not hurt me any more.
I started seeking God in my life and I was converted. I changed the way I looked at myself and I
saw life in a different way.
Molebogeng Mucane
Lebo since then has become a survivor of abuse and has volunteered to help other women out of the self pity and self blame. She is one of our Save a Tamar counsellors in Gauteng.
4 comments:
This is a very powerful testimony Mrs Lebo,may God use you much more to help other girls who find themselves in the similar situation. thank for sharing with us Mrs Marcia.
Dear Yoyo
Take the opportunity to refer this post to other friends who will benefit from it.
It takes a lot of courage to open up, when it comes to all sorts of abuse.
Dear Mrs Lebo
growing up without a mother figure in life can be very difficult, and as you grow you realize that you missing so much from your mother and there is a lot you are going through and you have no one to tell. I would like to thank God that He helped you to become free from the pain that you went through and that you came out to say to women that they should speak out and not keep quite. Your testimony will really help others. Keep strong and God bless you.
Elisa
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